What’s more perfect than hardcore water with perfect bubbles to tickle my taste buds?

Quenches the deathly thirst

What is there to say? Do you want to feel like a badass with a big black and gold can adorned with a screaming skull? Well GOOD because this shit has you covered. And then it actually has the best tasting, smoothest carbonated sparking water you or I could ever hope to find on this miserable dust ball of a planet.

Stay cool, stay hydrated, murder thirst.

The best part of being thirsty is downing these suckas. I like mine straight from the can.

It was just you’re average every day corporate-water-in-a-plastic-bottle-drinking afternoon when my liquid death arrived in the mail and immediately burst from the packaging and began to murder the thirsts of my entire family. It made me watch as one by one all of their thirsts were ritually dismembered, and then it came for me. In a flash of demonic light the plastic water bottles were gone and my thirst lay dead on the floor. I was helpless to stop the onslaught and it will return…..