Most astrology products just lie to you about all the good things that will happen to you. But now with new Liquid Death HorrorScopes, you’ll get a 100% accurate look into the horrifying things that lie ahead.

Once a month, we’ll deliver a real, personalized HorrorScope right to your phone. It’s entirely free, except for the crippling knowledge that life is short and meaningless plus standard messaging rates.

*LEGAL JARGON: By signing up via text, you agree to receive recurring automated promotional and personalized marketing text messages (e.g. cart reminders) from Liquid Death at the cell number used when signing up. Consent is not a condition of any purchase. Reply HELP for help and STOP to cancel. Msg frequency varies. Msg & data rates may apply. Visit here for Terms and here for Privacy. Text HORROR to 26220 to sign up for texts.