Murder City Yacht Pants

Rated 5.0 out of 5
Based on 5 reviews
5 Opinions from Randos
$68.00
FREE SHIPPING

These pants are so exclusive, only Country Club Members can even look at them. Secret handshakes. Bloodletting rituals in candlelit catacombs. And now, pants. All are instant signifiers that you belong to a secret society. Show the world that no matter what they accomplish, they’ll never come close to actually selling their souls to a water company like you have.

  • Straight leg fit
  • 98% cotton, 2% spandex
  • Embroidered Country Club logos
  • All embroideries are unique, so no pair is the same.
  • Size 28, 30 & 32 waist have a 32-inch inseam.
  • Size 34 waist have a 34-inch inseam.
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Opinions from Randos

average rating 5.0 out of 5
Based on 5 reviews
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100% of reviewers would recommend this product to a friend
Against my skin, the material feels like
Rated 3 out of 5
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Rated 4 out of 5
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Rated 3 out of 5
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Reviewed by Brian B.
Verified Reviewer
Rated 5 out of 5

187 on Nakedness

I want to murder my nakedness! Make 38-40. I cant walk into the country club with no pants!

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Rated 5 out of 5
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Rated 5 out of 5
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Reviewed by Brian B.
Verified Reviewer
Rated 5 out of 5

Pants.

I want to murder my naked. Make bigger sizes! Up to sz. 40.

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Rated 3 out of 5
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Rated 3 out of 5
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Reviewed by MCYP
Verified Reviewer
Rated 5 out of 5

AArRGGHHHH!!!!

O Grim REAPER oF DEATHHHHH, DEAR!!!

How's about some X-TREE LG "PIRATES-OF-DEATH" BEACH TOWELS to go wit dat dere YACHT???? Ye parched, craven, toothless, feculent, SCALLAWAGG'N Marketer of DeathWATER???

Arrrgh!! . . . an' more of dem dere "DEATHY BAHAMA BUTTON-UP'S" fer me blimey, Stinkin', SUMMER-LOVIN' yeller-Bellied Crew!! Garrrgh!!! Curses fer yer SELLIN' THREW dem Barnacle-Blast'n RAGS in the FIRST place, ye COUNTRY-CLUB LOVIN' Peddler of DEATH2PLASTIC BOOTY!!!

Avast!! WHILE YER AT IT. . . conjure up a SEVERED LIME POLO fer me own bounty, ye plastic-killin', thirst-murderin' Rogue: sm black-on-black "Liquid Death" text logo on front, please; w/ SEVERED LIME GLORY full-back, fer dem dat trail . . .

. . . the CANS-OF-DEATH!!!!

— MURDER CITY YACHT PIRATE —

ps: AArRGGHHHH!!!!

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Against my skin, the material feels like
Rated 1 out of 5
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Rated 5 out of 5
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Reviewed by Jimmy G.
Rated 5 out of 5

2 FAT 2 FURIOUS

Because my body retains all the liquid death I consume, these pants can not contain my body, it is too much for them to handle. Even if you made a 38, unless they are as forgiving as the Lord Jesus Christ, I will be denied access.

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Against my skin, the material feels like
Rated 5 out of 5
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Rated 5 out of 5
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Reviewed by Larry P.
Rated 5 out of 5

I am too fat to wear these pants.

These pants are perfect, but I am not.

I am too fat.

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Against my skin, the material feels like
Rated 1 out of 5
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Rated 5 out of 5
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